September 15, 2008

Management Principle applied in Parenting

Yesterday i was losing patience with my son -

This is a typical scenario - he insisted on something he wanted - 
which i did not want to give into (acting in my role as a mother)

He kept saying the same thing and i kept saying No.....

When i understood what he wanted -
it was a WIN - WIN, 
it was easy to move forward

In most scenario of such conflict - you can apply the game theory


The various scenarios being -

WIN - LOSE 

Win-lose situations result when only one side perceives the outcome as positive. Thus, win-lose outcomes are less likely to be accepted voluntarily.

Parenting Example - 
a) When the child wants to eat cookie before meal time. 
b) When the parent given in to the child's demand to buy peace (example screaming child in restaurant wanting to eat ice cream instead of soup)


LOSE - LOSE 
Means that all parties end up being worse off.
Parenting Example - 
a) Child wants to go out and play and parent wants to watch TV instead - No one can do what they want - every one ends up miserable


WIN - WIN
Win-win outcomes occur when each side feels they have won
Parenting Example - 
You tell the child they  can watch their favorite cartoon (parent can use the time to do something else) if he / she finish eating whatever is on their plate

Think WIN - WIN

September 10, 2008

Relationships

I realized this week how fragile relationships are - can be. 

the question i have is - what is the health of each of these relationships

I remember what Steven covey's book - 7 habits of highly effective people talked about - 
Emotional bank accounts. 

I think this concept becomes critical especially in today's context..

* how many of our relationships are in the red - dried up - no hope of recovery
how many of our relationships are  becoming bankrupt - some fundamental shifts can turn it around
how many of our relationships are in the pink of health - makes us feel good, authentic communication, honest, give and take etc etc

Most of us do a lot when we are new to a relationship - we make effort, try to communicate - try to remain 'active'. As one goes forward,  a lot of taking for granted happens..

Many times we start looking at whats not working in the person or relationship rather then whats good - whats making me happy - whats positive

I think we need to have a monthly account statement equivalent for our key relationship
Triggers that can make us take an action - make deposits, re engage or move on  ! ! 

After all its all about ' relationship banking' or was it ' banking relationships'